It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
Married for 14 years, and dating for 20, here’s getting Uma Karve Chakranarayan (39) and Kunal Chakranarayan (41), to list the ingredients of a long-standing partnership culture and religion no bar
A typical day for Uma, media woman- turned-entrepreneur, begins with attending to calls from her customers. As partner at Petsworld, a premium pet food and accessory Pune-based chain of stores, Uma has converted her passion for pet animals into a viable business that keeps her close to her favorite folks on earth, namely animals. For this, she has the unflinching support of her husband, the quiet, unassuming Kunal, who respects all that she stands for. “There are times when she needs a gentle push to go for what she wants, but once she decides to do something well, she goes all out,” he says. Deputy manager for Idea Cellular, Pune, his work entails travel, long hours and all the stresses that come with a corporate career, but together the duo have made it work as they always have—with some humor and plenty of deft time management.
This love story was first scripted on the grounds of Fergusson College, Pune way back in 1997, with Uma pursuing her eco honors and Kunal, political science. It so happened that Kunal was accompanying a boy who Uma’s friend had a heavy crush on. To help her shy friend break the ice with Kunal’s friend, the effervescent Uma went up and struck up a conversation with Kunal and his friend. Well, not much is known about what happened to either of their friends, but Uma and Kunal embarked on the journey of a lifetime—starting with long conversations and longer walks in the blazing sun on campus, picnics to local forts, coffees and cookouts and dates. Post-graduation, Uma studied journalism while Kunal joined Idea Cellular. Despite this, the relationship continued on an even keel.
It helped that despite their temperamental differences, (he’s quiet and she, far from so), they loved the same things: books, the outdoors and humor. “We can make each other laugh. That is a big deal,” says Kunal. “We share a mutual love of puns. Both of us bond over witty conversation and gags, ” he says.
The families, though, were none too pleased. Uma is a Maharashtrian Brahmin, and Kunal, a Christian. Both sets of parents worried as to how two youngsters with such diametrically differing cultural backgrounds would possibly make a sound marriage.
The face-off continued for some time. Ultimately, though, the elders did give in. “I don’t know what made them change their minds; I guess we just stuck it out for that long,” smiles Uma. Finally, the duo were wed in late 2004.
The popular notions of what could be a roadblock are usually wrong. For example, one of the first questions posed to my in-laws would be: does she eat meat? But that’s such a non-issue really. What really decides the future of a relationship are compatibility, trust and generosity
—Uma
Uma and Kunal posing for a picSo how easy or difficult was the post marriage adjustment considering that they were living in a joint family? “It takes time and effort and an open mind,” says Uma. “But let me tell you, the popular notions of what could be a roadblock are usually wrong. For example, one of the first questions posed to my in-laws would be: does she eat meat? But that’s such a non-issue really. What really decides the future of a relationship are compatibility, trust and generosity,” she says.
“I would say things usually settle down once the first child comes along,” says Kunal. “Everyone then begins to look at the bigger picture, that is raising the child well.”
The most crucial aspect of a relationship as per Uma is the ability to let things go. “You cannot and should not make a bogey of everything. Your partner is a different individual. Just let him or her be. Trying to change someone— and in the process forgetting to appreciate them for who they are—is an exercise in futility,” she says.
Uma with ArinKunal agrees that Uma is the more understanding partner, for all her temper and impulsiveness. “When things heat up, she has a wonderful way of diffusing the conflict and tension. She’s really effective at it,” he says.
Quality time together consists of date nights. “We both believe in working hard, and partying harder,” says Kunal. To that end, Friday nights are dedicated to clubbing, dinners and exploring the latest restaurants in town. “We are both big-time foodies and love trying out different cuisines,” says Uma.
The duo have worked their differences to advantage. “I’m a complete dog person, so put a puppy in my hands and my smile is 100 watt! Kunal isn’t as crazy about animals, he is crazy about football. I am not like the other wives who keep complaining about his first love. I see and respect his need to play all weekend mornings and weekday evenings. Gives me free time,” she winks.
Uma successfully ran her own pet magazine Tell Tail for three-and-a-half years before finally converting it into a Facebook magazine. “I have always had the freedom to pursue my dreams because I know he has my back,” she says. “We end up adopting any animals I rescue. That’s how my dogs Bhu and Wag came home. That is also why we had guinea pigs. What is a relief is that he understands my need to do what I can to help animals who are victims of cruelty or abandonment.”
Kunal with little ArinLike every couple, the upbringing of their 12-year-old son Arin is an important arena of responsibility. “I gave up a fairly rewarding career as a journalist with The Indian Express when our baby was born,” reminisces Uma. “It was a very hard decision, but as a family, we were firm that our little boy would be the focus of our lives for the first few years at least,” she says. “Even today, my work timings are around his schedule and it works well. In fact, when I started my shops, I had a heart to heart with both him and Kunal as to what it would entail. Fortunately, they were encouraging.”
Both Kunal and Uma are focused on the overall development of their child, rather than merely the academic zone. “I would rather that he learn to say please, sorry and thank you rather than excel in class. These things count in life,” says Uma.
A typical pre-teen, Arin is heavily into football and the outdoors. “If he had his way, he’d play all day long. But he shares my love for animals and goes to check up on the street dogs we love. And he work diligently to keep our dogs, Wag and Bhu on their toes,” she says.
Holidays usually consist of long car drives —just the three of them-to somewhere open, clean and green. “It’s usually just the three of us as it gives us the time and wherewithal to catch up with each other,” rounds off Kunal.
As a wise man said: at the end of the day, family is all that counts.
By Kalyani Sardesai
